Something New

All of this blogging is very new to me, and I'm not sure why I am just now getting into the groove. I love reading other people's blogs and catching up on their lives, so I figured I should give it a shot.

I've titled my blog "Day by Day," because that is how I have to manage my life. Most of the time, I get too far ahead in my mind, or I dwell on what is in the past, which only creates mental chaos and fear. So...I have started to give in to the idea of taking life day by day or even moment by moment as it comes. That's all we can really do anyway, right? We can't change the past, and we have no idea what the future will hold. So living in the present is probably the best way to go. Of course, we can hold onto our memories and dream about what may come, but we have to engage in the present to fully experience our lives. That is what I want to do - fully experience my life.

I want to enjoy and to know the people who fill my days. I want to show them love, to somehow let them know how much they matter. My God has revealed to me a love that I cannot explain, a love I have recently begun to accept as real and true. I simply want to give that love away to others, hoping that they will know how much the Lord loves them as well.

I want to learn. I'm not exactly talking about education here. While it is a good thing, school is NOT my favorite aspect of this life. I've been enrolled for a long time, and I still have a long way to go. Maybe if I quit changing my major, things would go a little more quickly! :) But really... I want to learn how to live. I want to gain wisdom and insight in a personal way and in a broad way.
I need to learn more about who I am, my identity. For so long I have shoved this idea to the side out of FEAR. It terrifies me to think about getting to know who I really am outside of my struggles, but I know it needs to be done. I have a feeling that it might be freeing, that maybe I wouldn't feel so bogged down with trying to keep up with some "perfect" list. I have recently learned that I am not to identify myself with my issues and struggles, that I am much more than those things - now I just need to find out who I am. There is a lot that I need to let go of, many things which I have had a tight grip on for quite some time. It is time to let go one by one, day by day. YIKES!
Broad learning encompasses a great deal, and it would take too long to list everything I'd like to know about life and the journey it provides. But basically, I would just like to learn in whatever ways I can. I know I cannot determine how life will go, but I want to figure out how to handle things a little better, no matter what happens. I want my faith to grow immensely, and I want to be able to trust the Lord through it all. If I fall or fail, I want to be able to get back up. If I feel like all strength is gone, I want to keep going. If I feel as though I cannot do something, I want to try until I get a better outcome.

Day by day is how all of this will happen. I can't change that, and I want to be able to embrace it. I'm writing all of this to say that I'm on a journey just like everyone else, and all I can do is move step by step, trusting that I will be taken care of.

That's about all for now. Until next time...