Crazy beautiful. Crazy weird.

Lately I have been reminded many times over that life is wildly beautiful and undeniably unpredictable.
It is...
scary
annoying
difficult
confusing
frustrating
overwhelming
inconsistent
sad
and just all over the place
BUT it is also...
special
unique
fascinating
interesting
lovely
vibrant
exciting
breathtaking
surprising
intoxicating
miraculous
strange
happy
and just all over the place

I think of struggle and triumph, sorrow and healing, loss and great gain, then all of the random, little things woven in between. I think of how there are billions of individual stories out there in the world, and I can't help but wonder how we can keep going. There are many people I know personally who have been through hell but have somehow come out on the other side. Sure, we all have a certain level of gumption, strength, willingness, but I believe that there's more to it. I will admit that there are plenty of times when I think that I've got it; however, I can easily be reminded out of nowhere of my weaknesses (that unpredictability I mentioned before). Yes, a lot of that can be my believing lies, judging myself, identifying myself with shame, labeling myself as someone who is broken but beyond repair; but maybe there's another part of it that's necessary for humility. My weaknesses do not HAVE to devour or drown me. What if I allowed them to possibly be a reminder that I can't expect to do everything on my own, that I need the Lord's unwavering grace and constant strength and unconditional love, that there are people in my life to love and support me and walk alongside of me in this crazy journey? What if I sat back, calmed down, and found a way to let those things be enough? And as frustrating as it is to me, what if I let the fact that life is a freaking process be an ok reality?

There are many ways in which we do have to work very hard in our lives, but we don't have to do it alone. Ever.