Pain...

"Don't waste your pain." - Clyde Causey (my grandpa, "Poppe")

He's a genius.  What a wise statement and realization he's had and passed along.  He knows pain all too well from different experiences, but he learns from everything he's been through and what he goes through currently.  Poppe has been through quite a bit during his 70 years.  He has experienced deep hurt (physically and emotionally), intense sorrow, and incredible loss.  Does he let all of this destroy him?  By no means!  He learns.  He feels.  He accepts.  He endures.  He loves.  He continues.  He rests.  He remains.  He does not waste his pain.  Oh, how grateful I am to know this man.  What would I do without him?!

I have probably learned more from him than he may realize, but I want to be like him.  I want to be able to grow and learn like he has.  I want to have a wisdom that only comes from life experiences.  How many times have I wasted my pain?  It has probably happened more times than I would like to admit; therefore, I will try my best to do so from here on out.  It's unlikely that things will go according to plan all the time, because there may be times when I feel defeated or discouraged.  There will be mistakes on my part.  Life will happen.  But I must not waste my pain.  I cannot waste my past.  I WILL NOT waste my past.

I am beginning to learn how to forget my regrets, to make them things from which I can learn.  My past is a part of me, but it does not define me by any means.  It is simply a part of my story.  And it is only by GRACE and MERCY that I have even ended up in the place I am today.  I am on my way to being content, satisfied, happy, whole...things I thought would never come.  I am no longer empty, and it is incredible.  So today I choose life.  I choose to accept the Lord's relentless love.  I choose to accept God's strength over my own, for mine is insufficient.  I choose to be hopeful.  I choose to work through my pain.

DON'T WASTE YOUR PAIN.